There has been a post going around recently titled ‘Why Modern Dating Makes Me Want To Punch Myself In The Throat’ – holaaaaaa. It bloody does and it’s a freakin’ minefield out there for single people.
It’s brutal. I was saying to my friends a few weeks ago when we were having just a general chat about life that social media and the mobile phone itself makes it far too easy to ignore someone or a situation.
If you’re on tinder, or bumble, or plenty of fish (awks that I know so many lols) and someone messages you who you just cba to reply to… you don’t. They’ve taken the time to message you (granted, we all know what they’re after – but still, the thought was there) and you just ignore them. Ooops.
I’ve been ignored and I’ve ignored someone and it makes so so disappointed in our generation that we’ve, collectively, decided that that’s ok!?
Why have we all accepted the fact that we can all treat each other like shit?! Even typing this I’m honestly, like, baffled. And confused…
Our parents, our teachers and friends have all taught us to be kind. To be kind to each other and ourselves. So, why, when we’re behind a screen do we suddenly all turn into absolute assholes?
I think we all need to take a big look in the mirror if I’m honest. Recently, I haven’t been particularly proud of my self/actions and made a new years resolution to just treat myself better and have more respect for myself as a woman. After a certain situation I found myself in with a guy, I was super angry and sad and decided to write it down… I just left it in the notes in my phone but think this discussion calls for it to finally be shared:
How many times gals. have you been seeing a guy, you think things are going well and then BAM… they’re not.
You rack your brains for reasons why, over thinking and over analysing everything, driving yourself mad trying to figure out what went wrong – when or how or where…
Just me? Ooooo kay then.
I’m the first the admit I’m an over-complicater. I dream up these issues and scenarios in my head that I convince myself are true – hence adding to the dramz I seem to create to cause myself unnecessary agg.
It’s exhausting – and every single time I tell myself off and say right, next time you’re gonna be chill and laid back about the whole thing and not let yourself get worked up.
But, being me, of course that NEVER happens. But it’s not because I’m ‘crazy’ or ‘psycho’ like a lot of guys claim all girls are… I just have feelings. And when those feelings are hurt it, funnily enough, has a negative effect on me.
I’m not good at playing it cool or acting like I don’t care… but why should I. If something’s happening, in this case, with a guy, that’s making me question my own actions then of course I’m going to try and work out what’s happening… not for his sake, but for my own!
Some girls are so afraid of showing and saying how they truly feel for fear of coming across slightly ‘needy’… it’s not needy… it’s bloody standing up for yourself!!
Dating in this day and age is cruel… I’ve only been in London 4 months and have already been stood up and just generally ignored by guys I thought were genuinely nice… oh how wrong I was.
Men are truly from another planet… and they definitely think girls are, when in fact, it’s just a case of ‘wrong person, wrong time’.
And it sucks when you’re seeing someone and things go south, but I soon realise and remember that (after a few pep talks with my gr8 friends and mum) at the end of the day, I’m 22, in a city full of people and I’m at the start of a very exciting career.
Yes I’m going to be pissed off and sad about it for a bit because it’s never nice being brushed off by someone you like but I’ve done this enough (too many in my opinion) times to know when enoughs enough and it’s time to stop dedicating your time to guys who don’t value yours equally.
Think what you will about this… I’m sure some guys reading this think I’m just a classic nutter gal having a rant about my failure of a love life… but it’s made me feel better so byeeeeeeeeee.
I titled it ‘The male species’ but reading it back now it just should be called ‘my generation’. Obviously, because I’ve only ever dated guys, they’re who I channel my love life anger at… but girls are just as bad!! I have guy friends who have been treated like shit by girls and I just don’t understand how – maybe it’s because I have a larger than average conscious and feel guilt about borrowing kitchen roll… but yeh.
I cannot play it cool. As I mentioned up there ^^ it just doesn’t come easy to me and I do envy girls who can but it’s generally because they’re seeing someone or with someone that doesn’t regularly give them a reason to not play it cool… that’s clearly where I’ve been going wrong.
Side note: For some stupid stupid reason I just deluded myself into thinking that dating apps were a good idea and obviously was blind to the fact that guys on there are there for one reason only… safe to say they were swiftly deleted. I’m deciding there just are no rules and just to actually stay true to myself when I say ‘go with the flowwwww’
So, London – I haven’t quite given up on you yet but as far as dating goes – but you’ve been a bit a knob so far ngl… being single is also super fun and also slightly easier haha – it swings in roundabouts haha. Intrigued as to what life’s gonna throw at me (Y)
Peace and love xox