I wanted to write this post when I saw the title of Lady Gaga’s article she wrote for Harpers Bazaar. I hadn’t even read the piece itself and I knew I’d have a lot to say on this topic. The term lady is defined as either a polite way to refer to a women or a way of describing a women, of title, with a higher social position. But for Lady Gaga, it’s the lady she wants to become that defines it for her – and she takes inspiration and guidance from the closest women to her, her mother and grandmother.
In the past, ladies were respected but talked down to, and looked after but treated as less important and less educated as their male partners. Thankfully, in most areas of the world times have dramatically changed but in some areas they really haven’t.
I still remember when I was travelling in India in 2012 and I was with a male – the waiters never addressed me, they always asked him. But that’s the norm – women in India are too often subjected to abuse, domestic and sexual and just general degrading behaviour from their male family members and husbands. According to an article from the Guardian, more than half of the adolescent girls and boys believe that is it ok and justifiable for a man to beat his wife. These are young adults thinking this! If this type of awful thinking is drilled into a person so young of course they’re going to grow up thinking at least a small part of it is true – as it’s what they’re used and accustomed to It makes me so so sad. The entire article documents many Indian women and their personal struggles and accounts of where they’ve been a recipient of all kinds of abuse from men and their country.
These poor women are never going to be able to discover what it means to be the lady they want to be because their own country won’t allow it. One account from the article describes how a women in the mid 50’s was out walking around 10:30 and policeman stopped her, asked her what she was doing and where he husband was – because obviously its ridiculous to assume a women can’t be out alone enjoying a quiet walk… and its even more ridiculous to assume that her husband actually allowed her out?! She may not have even been married – but again, what a silly assumption to make…
Articles like this baffle me completely as I’ve luckily grown up in a country that doesn’t stand for such sexist behaviour… well most of the normal, nice and open minded people of this country anyway. I’m also lucky enough that I can stand up for my gender and point of view if ever I was put in a situation regarding sexism (without being physically hurt)… and trust me, I would have A LOT to say.
Anyway, side track over… My ‘lady’ opinion and definition isn’t formed yet as my view of a lady is someone who’s got where they want to be in their adult life – for me, mines just starting. I find it amusing whenever I’m walking anywhere and mums with their kids walk past, and I let them go first the mum always says ‘Say thank you to the nice lady’, or ‘Mind the lady’… and I’m there, sniggering to myself, thinking I’m so not a lady yet haha, I’m barely a grown up in my eyes!
I don’t know if it’s the fact I’m still living in a shared house, or that my job is just so much fun it doesn’t really feel like work, or the fact I have have my student overdraft (thank yoouuuuu Santander) but I still don’t feel like a grown up. I still feel young – and I have no idea what needs to ‘change’ for me to suddenly click and feel like a ‘lady’. Maybe nothing, and if I’m honest, I don’t really want anything to change, just progress through the natural occurrences life will eventually throw at me
I just think that with age, you just continue to learn and grow, and view past (bad) decisions as a result of a less mature version of yourself. There’s a reason why parents are always right – it’s because they’ve already lived it and have learnt what the best path is.
It’s good to make mistakes, as that’s what forms you into the person, or in my case ‘lady’ I’ll finally become. Right now, I’m pretty content with how things are panning out and I hope, that when these changes start happening, it’ll be because of choices I’ve made that are full of positive outcomes, and scattered with mistakes – they also tend to make the funniest stories ;)